29 June 2007

Free...

Untitled, Takis

28 June 2007

Awesome Life...

Think about it, we all know about the whole there are days for loud music. I have seen my ear drums, loud gets louder and hearing gets 'deafer' but we keep at it. We keep that thinking that the loud music isn't loud enough...

Human nature: what's awesome anyway?

26 June 2007

Study Guide...

Uplight, BD 2006 [REVISION]

25 June 2007

From Nine to Six

One step closer to forever.

It's Already Hot

Okay. It's not yet the end of June but the air is growing close and heavy, even into the night. It makes being inside hard, and dealing with details even harder. I've had a longing for lazy days at the lake again.

When I lay in bed at night my head spins sometimes with thinking all the thoughts of all the things that are to be done and yet can't be done. I think of B in his cold home while I lay here feeling the dampness on my skin and wishing I could feel his damp heat.

He's sent me flowers, cards, and gifts... he pours out his heart every day. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too shallow for him. I can hardly get my act together to function in my day to day.. leaves too little for being special enough.

But, for as long as he'll have me I'll keep trying to find the deep end and stay there with him. Maybe we just need a day at the lake.

The Leaf For My Tree (One Of My First Four Yellows)...

Feed For Growth, BD 2006 [REVISION]

I Still Have Little Dreams...

I have to slow down, I'm heading for the ground surrounded in memories. Thinking something like - what has gone wrong?! It's not always easy to disguise what's happening behind those tired eyes. Someday we'll come out of this, feeling alright, sleeping sound till daylight, forgetting the mist, OK, woken with a feeling, it's that of a kiss.

...like seeing those Jewels before anything.

It's Just A Fucking Glass...

Optimism, Uncredited

24 June 2007

When The Curtains Come To Close...

...won't you even start to think of me then? The windows open, the warmth runs out...

23 June 2007

I Made The Sacrifice Or You Didn't Make The Compromise...

YBT, BD 2007

22 June 2007

What Do Black And Red Have In Common? It's Not That...

Testing, one, two, one-two, wombat, how is that at the back? Sound...

(Does the tongue come out of the cheek?

JT looks forward to dying, or rather the afterlife. Meeting her lost ones, even her friend who killed himself - finding solace in sharing an eternal existence with these 'failed' individuals. She (used to) let time slip away thinking or planning suicide, 'failing' the action. Playing, not quite dedicating to the rehearsal; the art of living, in a way reminding her of recycling or maybe worse yet, re-use. Slowing the progression, causing the frustration with not enough actions.

I look forward to peace, I don't really want to see any of those people who have littered my existence with bullshit, ideals, false depression, weakness, desperation and drama. In the art of living, even as I live with a substance over image approach; others and their escapism has surrounded me and still does to a degree. It's tiring, 'fail', the game, the objectives, the next 14.81s'. It's a different 'failure' with actions, probably on my part. My plans under lock and key, not for re-use.

It's just existence? Or a different existence? Point...

Blood has nothing to do with death in the sense. No blood and death relate, but pouring and bleeding are the most basic functions of being relational.

And cut.)

Pass...

The Crew Will Now Give A Short Safety Brief, We'd Appreciate If You Give Them Your Full Attention...

Open Your Mind And Hope She Can Tell You, You Can't Deny, We Only Want That Thing Called Happiness...

...don't we?

Positive Countervail (Or Would It Be Negative, Negative Negative Is Positive)...

Untitled, JT / BD 2006

21 June 2007

The Other Sides Of The Circles...

Progress?

20 June 2007

Gasp...

Self, BD 2007

%...

So many numbers...

19 June 2007

Pulmonary...

Fighting Just To Breathe, At Least Let Me Get Back Up On My Knees...

Empty heart, patient soul. What is it to make me feel alive?

Another day, without a hand up. Excuses for stepping over me, without any conviction.

Friends with the worst of them and observer of the seepage.

May his joyful smile remind us how much there is to be happy about. - Edward Monkton

My tone is hard to read...

(Without Effort?) Accepted...

Edward Monkton

18 June 2007

NFZ...

Si non confectus, non reficiat...

Putty...

Drop, BD 2007

Swap...

God knows, the lonely souls. There is a time and a place to let your mind wander from this place, there is a day and a place; that we will go to and I'll hope you still want to share. There's no secret to living, just keep on walking, there's no secret to dying, just keep on walking. I'm going to die in a place, that won't know my name, in a place that won't hold my name. No-one is going to cry in that space, that won't care for my ways, that won't remember my ways. The same goes for all the lonely souls. There's a time that the cord of life can be cut and this vision at the end of the tunnel, ends.

17 June 2007

Special Times...

Quality Time, BD 2006 [REVISION]

Eruction...

Some days I wish I could read minds, the next I wish I didn't know what words meant.

This week has been a real (introspective) 'look at me' week and I understand that I rarely make a bad decision, amongst all of my mistakes and life lessons I can largely steer well. JT has been one of my greatest decisions, from the small effort to communicate to her, to the comparitively immense effort to change my papers and give her / give up everything I have.

Sometimes, for all we complement there can be like a beauty and the beast drama. I'm sorry those days I'm the beast, in need of something that only she can bring when she doesn't feel she can.

She is my cute wee thing and when I pick up the phone from her calls she makes me smile.

Talking of efforts; I often belch out my feelings for her and it's not always smooth and sophisticated or even coherent but it's genuinely from my heart and I hope amongst it's sentimentality or cliché type one liners is something with worth and merit.

Special Dates


Nice Things About B

He calls me a cute wee thing.

16 June 2007

Some Saturday...

Ici II, BD 2006 [REVISION]

15 June 2007

Gate 5...

I have not had a good week, but I 'made it'. I am in Gate 5, waiting, remembering, trying to listen to music amidst PA calls and people with their non-stop natter.

Bitter-sweetness, its something that we most certainly haven't been able to shake in the last few months maybe longer. The processes and hurdle jumping, the pleasing sentimentality and the aww.

There is a beautiful woman in my mind and she fills the thoughts that won't go away, I hope that I can finish this race in good time ready for the next furlong or two or three...

12 June 2007

She Knows How To Make Things Right...

Edward Monkton

11 June 2007

Leitmotif...

Love, Uncredited 2007

Powers: We've got our links, there are petals in pinks...

10 June 2007

Employee Of The Month...

The world is a sewer, a fucking sewer. There's just animals out there. Running wild, fucking animals and they're winning... - Jack Melfi

09 June 2007

There Should Be A Sense Of Priority...

Fac 183, Peter Saville

Pull Tab To Open...

I can't shake this feeling I've got but give me the punishment for the last.

There were five boys born, one towards the end of the 19th century, he married his childhood sweetheart as he made 19 years, shortly before the birth of their first child he answered the call of duty. He carried the flag in a certain way, then he smoked German cigarettes on his next Christmas day, he never made it home to see the second boys first nativity play, fighting for the cause in the war to end all wars...

Lost found, my lady one day will have a baby.

Some 50 years later a Spitfire was downed on a Sunday, August 1944 with the third, a Daddy, son of the second and what did we learn the second time around? (Never again?)

Broken house, my lady one day will save me.

She pleaded him (the forth) to stay but he started up his pick up and drove away. She called after him, don't you worry about me I've got a pocketful of wisdom up my sleeve and this night is young. She told herself, she had nothing to say but she'd get her way.

He was good to her, he was made that way she blamed this on destiny. He stops half way, he stops to feel the worst, he starts to feel so alone. It's not the way to end the day, he knows the dawn can't heal them.

There are things you should never have to ask twice...

This is a problem, with needs to solve, ignoring the door and expecting the provision of excuses. Lowly aiming for a half decent conversation. Doesn't matter where we go from here, without that height it leads to disaster; the fifth.

2 Becomes A Bit More Than 5 And B Becomes A Bit Less Than A Nelson Minus 1 Or...

08 June 2007

Roentgenium...

It's a number, like everything else...

Words Said, They Mean Little, Cause What Do I Know...

Antiphon, BD 2006

Taras Shevchenko, Three, Seven...

What was it meant to be? Even advertised as is.

...proclaimed in the wind and the rain, got to do that; do you really think so? Hope the light of the first world won't watch the darkness, from the eyes let nature rise... - Ian Brown / 9

The Inside Joke Became...

Fac 53, Peter Saville 1981

07 June 2007

So You Talk, I Listen, Words Are Sinking In...

Exceptions ()...

Nothing truly beautiful can be useful... - Tony Wilson

06 June 2007

Following 109, Preceding 127...

Fac 193 (Touched By The Hand Of God), Peter Saville 1987

A shell and its red...

Irrespective Respective Perspective...

So close to holding everything, seems close to having nothing.

Read the words between the ones on the page, I want you to see my heart in this letter I started writing you.
You know, if I could,
I'd just hold your pretty head and you'd understand-
that and I'm the man who loves.
You.
- Wilco / I'm The Man Who Loves You

Maybe I'm hard to read or maybe I'm not...

Wouldn't I...

Through Moonlight, Rob and Nick Carter 2007

Favors For Favours...

Many times we help each other, even when you don't want to be seen with me. These may seem like stupid words but I need to be sure you heard. Everyone is trying to find their place - I wish I could move more in time with you...

05 June 2007

Flower to Flower


The Rules Of The Road State...

...hate those who hate.

Life Could Be Simple...

Cookie Monster

04 June 2007

Our Numbers Do Add Up Even If You Score More Points

Three days of helping including a break for some double sixes. Endless hours on the phone listening.. you breathing and me typing. Dialing numbers and talking 10, 20 or 25. Our days numbers are coming up: 15, 28, 3. We've give up one year for a lifetime.

Not As Easy As It Looks (Ask B)


Still True After 365 Days

He Saves Her Heart

From across the room
His whispers filled her ears.
His dark warmth poured through her
Eyes, and pooled in her belly
As he drew near.
With kingly grace he tended her.
Beneath his hand her light grew bright,
And every jewel was set in place.

Without Wilt...

Untitled, Julie Mehretu 2002

03 June 2007

Cold Glass Looks...

001. There is an interlude between versus in those more powerful pieces of music, it lets up a strong piece of percussion to drive the shape of the song.
002. An end has a start.
003. It wasn't so long ago I was getting advice like, You are lucky that words can't bleed, protect yourself just don't think anymore.
004. No one person can interpret for another.
005. Which is right: a. if you don't ask you won't get or b. it's rude to ask?
006. 'They' say the best things in life are free, but there's a described cost to love.
007. :( :) :D >| :P :|
008. The Amish are using solar energy...
009. Glosalalia and Vonlenska are free for each.
010. I have to concede (time and time again) because I am 'self-centred'.
011. A 250ml glass of Smooth Orange juice provides 6% of the guideline daily amount of calories.
012. Out-classing the opposition doesn't mean you've won.

Take Me Out To Sea, Make It Plain To See...

Through Jas Green, Rob and Nick Carter 2007

Times Change...

People used to repair their television sets now wives chuck out their husbands...

02 June 2007

Planning...

December, Uncredited 2006

01 June 2007

Messiah Or Astrology...

Close your eyes, hope you won't be seen.
It's silence, not serene.
There's nothing left, that you want to believe.
A liquid, a thirst doesn't relieve.
Open wide, feed your dreams.
Fallen screams, torn at the seams.
Save yourself, for that last big sin.
Born again, with in built means to give in.
Drawing lines in blood, on the palm of your hand.
You're holding on to, maps of what you've planned.
There's nothing here, just what's left.
Patience, waiting to be bereft.
Throw yourself, into the oncoming static.
Drop ourselves, it's the death that's romantic.
Sell your soul, treasure the fake.
We've killed yourself, as part of the 'cruel to be kind' take.
Lost mind, in a world that learns nothing.
Asphyxiation in the asylum, no song to sing.
It's all you want, you know you forget.
It's a routine, outwith the set.
Open arms, only seem to surrender.
Sun rise, fender.
No one, needs, what they think to survive.
What is hope for, nothing to revive.
Pulled inside the darks, without as much as an awareness of the blind.
Ticketed, stamped and aligned.
You sleep in shores, waves form bliss.
Sunk, without as much as a kiss.
Growing wings, to lift from the sorrow-less excess.
Your frozen cuts, the chord to signal less.
Words spoken, no interest to a nation.
There's hollow echoes, might as well pray for salvation.

Cat Or Calf, No Contest Really...

Untitled, Uncredited 2006

2 Tens (Continued Further Still Yet Again)...

Ten Over-rated Bands

001. Foo Fighters
002. Artic Monkeys
003. Guns n' Roses
004. Metallica
005. U2
006. Bloc Party
007. Queens of The Stone Age
008. Queen
009. New Order
010. Rolling Stones

Ten Under-rated Bands

001. Joy Division
002. ¡Forward, Russia!
003. Talking Heads
004. The Rapture
005. Secret Machines
006. The Dears
007. Josef K
008. The Seahorses
009. Built To Spill
010. The Verve

Times Are Hard, When Things Have Got No Meaning...

Untitled, Uncredited 2007

Does It Make You Wonder...

That the majority of us are rather simple, gluttons on half-wit and mediocrity.

...

Thomas Kincaid made 400 million last year.

Nice Things About B: Cows

There's something intriguing about a guy who'd rather have cow than a cat.

I'm Always There for You


Untitled, Uncredited