Purest Joy
In the past I have looked at potentials with an eye for what they do, what they are, what they have. We, from the time of being a little girl, have been taught to do this.
The questions: What is his occupation, who are his family, what does he drive, does he have money...
Simultaneously, we are taught how to perform, how to play the role of woman and wife. We learn, that our worth is in our performance.
The questions: Can she cook, does she keep house well, will she be a good mother, can she perform well in bed...
Some of my deepest pain has resulted from failing to perform and so failing a relationship.
Knowing B has changed all of this for me. His nature is so compelling that I find all of the old questions irrelevant. I do not look for him to take care of the house, the car, the kids, or pay my bills. He does the thing that means the most to me: he is there for me, and he lavishes love on me. At the same time, he sets no standards of performance that I must meet. He accepted me from the beginning, and then loved me, as I am.
I think that there is something incredibly special about being in a relationship where the focus is solely to love and care for each other rather than taking it as a collateral benefit if it happens at all. B is the only person I have ever known this way and our relationship brings me the purest joy I have ever known.
The questions: What is his occupation, who are his family, what does he drive, does he have money...
Simultaneously, we are taught how to perform, how to play the role of woman and wife. We learn, that our worth is in our performance.
The questions: Can she cook, does she keep house well, will she be a good mother, can she perform well in bed...
Some of my deepest pain has resulted from failing to perform and so failing a relationship.
Knowing B has changed all of this for me. His nature is so compelling that I find all of the old questions irrelevant. I do not look for him to take care of the house, the car, the kids, or pay my bills. He does the thing that means the most to me: he is there for me, and he lavishes love on me. At the same time, he sets no standards of performance that I must meet. He accepted me from the beginning, and then loved me, as I am.
I think that there is something incredibly special about being in a relationship where the focus is solely to love and care for each other rather than taking it as a collateral benefit if it happens at all. B is the only person I have ever known this way and our relationship brings me the purest joy I have ever known.
7 Comments:
What freedom to there is in letting love shape the roles rather than the other way around.
well said. all of it. especially the last paragraph. just waking up next to H+P has been eye opening as to what life should be.
more then a little happy for you both.
lukas.
aww lukas, how nice for you. everyone should have what we do.
i'm really happy for you. you deserve this.
Past her obvious qualities, past the beauty of her face, there is a depth spoiled with treasure. She bears no failings, she is more than all the colours.
The connection, love and commitment between us holds more spark than a bolt of lightning.
I have never felt as happy as I do with her, our ways together not defined or defied by concepts; she allows me to look after her the ways she needs. Our love has been tended to grow into the blossoming one we have became.
Pure joy from a special source...
All the relationships that are going to last, have this philosophy. The questions are important, but not the key. The key to a relationship is commitment, love, a commitment to that love, support, understanding, performing in bed could be seen as important! Especially when you have more time together at home.
Yeah the bed part... definitely a plus... things are well with us there.. :D
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